Search for the Lost Pichu Brothers Episode
by Silver Arctic Wolf
Summary: After his latest loss to Pyramid King Brandon, Brendan is fed up with everything that has to do with the Battle Frontier and decides to give up. But when May shows up to suggest they go home and watch Pichu Brothers, the Pyramid King overhears them, and somehow they all end up on a quest to find the legendary lost episode of their favorite television show.


_A little bit of explanation could be helpful here, so here we go: This story is a parody of the Pokémon series. The characters are mainly from the games. In case you didn't know, Brendan and May are the names attributed to the playable protagonists of the Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald games. Herein, Brendan is the protagonist character, the son of the Petalburg Gym Leader, and May is Professor Birch's daughter. The third main protagonist of this story, Pyramid King Brandon, is a little different. He's a conglomeration of his video game and television incarnations. This story was basically conceived out of the frustrations of my brother trying to beat the Battle Frontier in Emerald, and out of our annoyance of Brandon's character in the television show, with our perception that he always screams, "Noooo!" in a monotonous tone and then announces some ridiculous fault or gives some ridiculous advice about why the person he's talking to is wrong, and always with the same fathomless, slightly angry expression frozen on his face. The lost Pichu Brothers episode is a reference to Pokémon Channel, though the episode here is reimagined as much longer than in that game._

* * *

 **Search for the Lost Pichu Brothers Episode**

"Holy Murkrow, dodge Starmie!" Brendan cried out.

"Noooo!" wailed Brandon, the Pyramid King, in his droning, monotonous voice. "There's no dodging once I've used Lock-On! Now finish it off with that Zap Cannon, Registeel!"

The referee raised his flag when the powerful blast struck Starmie. "It's a one-hit-KO! Starmie is unable to battle: the winner is the Pyramid King Brandon!"

"Noooo!" wailed Brandon at the referee. "Wait to make sure it's the right call."

The referee gave Brandon a look of bewilderment. "But Zap Cannon is always a one-hit-KO."

"Noooo!" Brandon crossed his arms. "You need to work on that arrogance problem."

A look of consternation on his face, the referee dropped his flags on the ground and raised his arms. "That's it. I quit." He stormed off the battlefield.

"Noooo! What are you still doing here!" Brandon yelled at Brendan. "You lost!"

"By Arceus I did, you cheating Seviper," Brendan muttered as he was taken back to the Battle Pyramid sign up area.

"Noooo! I'm not!" said Brandon, appearing at the reception area.

"Yes you are! I had to go through this stupid pyramid like seven times and you only won because my other two Pokémon were already KOed and Starmie was paralyzed!"

"Noooo!" Without changing the fathomless scowl on his face, Pyramid King Brandon pointed an accusing finger at Brendan. "You lost because the bonds between you and your Pokémon weren't strong enough, and because of your own carelessness and arrogance!"

At that moment, May rode up on her bicycle and ran into the building, coming upon Brendan and Brandon in the midst of their argument. "Hey, Brendan! Wait!" May took a second to catch her breath, then she looked up and said, "I came to give you some advice before you take on the Pyramid King."

Brendan shrugged. "Too late."

May's face lit up in surprise, and if the scene had been an old pixel art video game, there would have been an exclamation mark over her head. "Oh, you already lost? That's too bad."

"Noooo!" Brandon wailed. "You can't give advice for beating me! It's against the rules!"

"Don't listen to him. What's the advice?" Brendan clenched both fists as he waited to hear the sage advice that was certain to let him crush the Pyramid King the next time.

"Stay strong and believe in your Pokémon! If you do that, then there's no need to worry!" May said.

Upon hearing the catchphrase from _Pokémon: Diamond and Pearl_ , a character sitting on a bench in a dark corner of the room stood up. "No need to worry!" Dawn agreed with a thumbs up whilst Brendan and May stared at her and wondered who she was. After that, Dawn slunk back into the shadows from whence she came and waited for her next cue.

Brendan hung his head and turned his attention back to what May had said. "That's your advice? Don't you have anything actually useful?"

"Noooo! Don't tell him. He must figure out how to beat me on his own," Brandon said.

Brendan shot a mean look at the Pyramid King. "Why are you still here? Don't you have a pyramid to run?"

"Noooo!"

"Well, you could look up strategies online. They'll even tell you what the Pyramid King's Pokémon are so you can prepare."

Brendan shrugged and sighed. "I already tried that. That's why I had a Phanphy with Pickup and a Starmie. Man, I'm just going to go home and watch _Pichu Brothers_."

"Oh, cool. I'll come to." As the two trainers from Littleroot town were leaving the Battle Pyramid, May causally remarked, "You know, they say there's a lost episode."

Brandon burst through the doors behind them, sending looks of terror over the two children's faces. "Noooo! Let's look for it."

"No offense, but I really don't want to hang out with the guy who made me waste a week of my life with an unfair challenge," Brendan told Brandon.

"Noooo! Too bad for you then, because a true trainer wouldn't turn down an opportunity to work with a master on such an important quest, so we're going to find that lost episode." The Pyramid King clearly wouldn't take no for an answer, so Brendan just gave in.

So, Brandon followed Brendan and May to Brendon's house, where he watched as Brendan booted up his PC. Brendan was about to see if anyone had posted the lost episode on any of the online streaming services he was subscribed to, but Brandon suddenly yelled out from over his shoulder, "Noooo!"

"What is it now?" Brendon asked, annoyed.

"Do it the right way!" Brandon said.

"I think he wants you to buy the DVD," May said from over Brendan's other shoulder.

"There's a time and place for everything," Brendan's mother scolded, wagging her finger at her son.

"Fine, but don't blame me if we don't find it," Brendan said. He refocused his internet search and found out the only way to find the lost episode was to go up to Mount Snowfall as part of a special program, now defunct. Or he could buy it as part of a DVD Complete Collection.

"It's not really worth it to me to buy a whole series I've already seen just to get one lost episode," Brendan said, disappointing his mother and May.

"Noooo! We must see this! Use my credit card!" Brandon cried out.

"Uh… Okay…" Brendan took the card and put in the information at the checkout page. He was selecting seven day shipping when Brandon screamed, "Noooo! Pick express shipping!"

"Well, it's your money," Brendan said, shrugging.

Then they went downstairs to wait for it to arrive, but when Brandon saw their old square TV, he screamed, "Noooo! It's not good enough! We need an HDTV!"

Brendan scratched his head. " _Pichu Brothers_ was made before HD, so it doesn't really mat-"

"Noooo! Let's go to the Lilycove Department Store to pick one up! And a brand new DVD player while we're at it!"

They had their flying Pokémon use Fly to get to Lilycove in an instant. Pyramid King Brandon bought the TV, the DVD player, and five official Pichu Brother plush toys, all while spouting out his mantras about the bonds between people and Pokémon to justify his actions.

"He really takes _Pichu Brothers_ seriously, doesn't he?" May whispered to Brendan.

"Uh huh," Brendan said weakly. He was a little pale after watching the Pyramid King's insane actions that clashed with his cries of "Noooo!" and his solid rhetoric.

"Noooo!" Brandon wailed, looking at the collection of DVDs on display and spotting the complete collection they had purchased online. "We could have just bought it here!" So he did, against May and Brendan's advice.

"Nooo! Careful with the TV, Regice!" Brandon told his Pokémon as it carried the TV back to Brendan's house. They passed through Petalburg, so Brendan's mom called him and told him to bring Norman back with them.

"I don't think dad likes _Pichu Brothers_ , mom," Brendan said.

"Noooo! The more the merrier," Brandon said, not sounding merry at all and still with his blank, slightly angry expression.

So they got Norman, who didn't really understand what was going on, but at least he knew, unlike his son, that a true trainer never turns down an opportunity to go questing with a legendary trainer like the Pyramid King. At the Pyramid King's request, May got Professor Birch and all his lab assistants to come, too.

"Since you bought all this stuff, I thought we'd be taking it back to your place," Brendan said, confused as Regice hauled the TV into his house.

"Noooo! There's no electricity in a pyramid!" Brandon said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Having had his Starmie get paralyzed, Brendan knew it wasn't true, but at this point he was so afraid of Brandon's fervor that he didn't dare say anything against him.

Then they watched the lost episode of the _Pichu Brothers_ on the HDTV with all the population of Littleroot Town and half the population of Petalburg all crammed into Brendan's small house. Pyramid King Brandon stood in front of the screen, his arms crossed, as everyone tried to find a good spot behind him to watch from.

"Noooo!" Brandon wailed when the Pichu Brothers got caught up in some trouble, scaring all the other viewers with his coarse voice.

After an agonizing thirty minutes later the episode finally ended and Pyramid King Brandon just walked out the door without saying a word.

"Err… so did you like it?" May asked him as he left.

"Noooo!" he cried. "I'll be waiting at the Battle Pyramid!" He shut the door behind him. The rest of the viewers stared after him for a long time, confused looks on their faces.

"So, what? He doesn't want all this stuff he bought?" Brendan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Drat! I guess I'm obligated to go back and challenge him again after all this. Come on Starmie, Breloom, Phanphy. Let's go."

Brendan wasn't seen again for three whole weeks…

* * *

 _A couple of notes on the jokes in the story: The joke about how May would have an exclamation mark over her head is a reference to the games. When she tries to give you advice there, she is surprised to see you've already completed the task, and an exclamation mark does appear over her head. The scene where Dawn appears to say, "No need to worry!" is sort of a running gag for my brother and I. We tend to spoof on all the catchphrases of the Pokémon anime, but none more so than this one._


End file.
